Friday, March 15, 2013

The grand adventurer

I'm having one of those days today.  You know the kind where you feel a little off.  I'm not grumpy really, I'm not anxious but I'm not content and my body feels weird.  It's probably PMS or maybe it's let down from the last week.  Maybe it's a bit of burnout.  I'm not entirely sure but I don't like it.  Even my "wring out your shirt hard" workout wasn't enough to pull me out of it.  My music choice probably didn't help (Mumford and Sons and Of Monsters and Men I love ya but you aren't that uplifting.) and a few of my miles were really good and hard but it still wasn't enough.

To counterbalance the funk I'm trying to focus on the wonderful things that have been going on lately.  You've often see me post here about "adventures".  I don't know when my thinking about life as an adventure actually began but it really is my outlook.  I approach everyday as a conduit for adventure.  One never knows what's going to happen, even walking in the door of my office can at times be part of the adventure.  Today it was being hailed by a guy who wanted to gush over my Jeep.  I was thinking to myself on the way in to work this morning that it was about time to switch back over to the Volvo.  The weather has been nice, I'm ready for my sunroof and worn out a bit by the roughness of the Jeep.  As I was getting out of the car in the parking garage a guy walked past me and made a comment to me about my outfit (I guess I look cute today) and asked me about Babe.  I found out he drives a Cherokee as well and loves his just as much as I love mine.  We laughed about the "bulletproof straight 6" and I told him I planned to put another 200,000 miles on Babe before I retired her.  We parted ways with a smile.  You never know what conversations you are going to have with strangers on the streets of Spokane.  I believe relationships are life's grandest of adventures - even relationships that last five minutes.

I recently read the book Quitter by Jon Acuff.  It was a very simple, easy to read book about making your day job into a dream job.  That doesn't mean changing your day job that you have into a job you love (i.e. making the most of it) but actually making your dream your day job.  I'm happy with my professional life right now.  I have large aspirations for what I want my job to look like five to ten years from now but I also have a dream job.  For some reason I lost sight of the fact that I want to own and run a baseball team.  I worked toward it in a lot of ways about five years ago and then I got discouraged and stopped.  Acuff's book reminded me that I can't forget that dream.  My more short term dream is to turn my current job into the high powered position I think it can be (I want to direct report to our CEO) but when I'm done in this capacity I want to be ready to land into the baseball world.  I can start making that happen and I can enjoy it along the way at this point with no pressure to rush.  Why shouldn't the hours we spend at a job be part of the adventure?  I truly believe they should and can be.

I've also started to dip my toe back into the adventure of dating.  Dating is a crappy adventure that I wish I wasn't still experiencing in my mid-thirties but I'm trying to keep positive about it.  This current relationship, as it is, is in no way serious and is being done with a startling amount of fear and caution on my part.  I tend to be the "all in" type but the pain I felt recently is still too fresh and I honestly haven't completely been able to turn my feelings for SHF off yet so I'm being cautious, not wanting to cause someone else the pain he caused me.  I met someone a couple months ago who has been quietly persistent and beyond understanding.  Even when, about two weeks ago, I responded inappropriately to a text message he sent me (which made me realize just how afraid of being hurt again I am) he has remained steady with me.  In fact, he took the full responsibility for my bad reaction.  Poor sap.  It was in no way his fault, was nothing to do with him and everything to do with me but he gets where I am and what's going on in my head and is understanding and willing for now to take the brunt of it.  Do I think it's going to go anywhere, maybe not, but he's kind and that's what I need right now.  My heart isn't really available yet and he knows that and seems fine with it for the time being.  He's also incredibly slow moving.  Again, exactly what I need right now.  The "no pressure but I'll be here when you need me in a way you might not realize you need" type of relationship it's becoming is refreshing.  I'm still not 100% sure of the plan but I have no doubt JG is part of it right now.

On top of the everyday adventures I've also been traveling a lot.  I've gotten through three of my six states in six weeks I blogged about last month. (CA, OR, FL) The next leg of my travels start again in a week.  To be honest these adventures have been a way of running from my life for a bit.  It was convenient, and another example of God working in my life, that it was planned when it was.  I've told you about CA.  I need to write about FL and Seattle this last week but I'm not quite ready.  I have pictures to download and memories to get solidified.  I'll get to all of that next week.

So, I'm off to the weekend.  I have fun plans of course and I also have a plan to have a Sunday afternoon nap.  Hopefully, there will be a baseball game on.  I always relish in the first baseball induced nap of the season.  Sunday seems like it might be a good opportunity for that.

Thanks for being part of my adventure.

PS - you know you are just too dang busy when you are scheduling naps two days in advance.  Just saying.

1 comment:

PhinneyGirl said...

That's great that you still have Babe! I remember riding to Leavenworth in her many years back for that girls weekend. I love reading about your travels and adventures :-)