Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Confusion

So I'm confused - how is it possible to go over a month clearly ignoring or at least failing to respond in any way shape or form to attempts at communication with a supposed friend to then suddenly thinking that friend (or what one person thought had been a friend) who had been ignored for over a month is going to give in to attempts at communication? HELLO JERK FACE - A LITTLE COMMON DECENCY PLEASE.

A little tip - if you decide to ignore someone completely it's probably best to at least contact them directly the first time you try to make contact again so you can at least explain why you are such a jerk in the first place.

Oh and an apology would be nice.

Oh and there's going to be no reciprocated communication until there is an explanation in an appropriate forum.

MAN UP ASSHOLE.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Neighbors

I'm pretty sure my next door neighbor has Tourettes. I'm not even kidding. You should hear her. Then again it might also have something to do with the smell of liquor that is so frequent from their home's general direction.

Sometimes I wish I had Tourettes. Then I could just randomly yell profanities and explain them away - oops, sorry my Tourettes again. It would at least give me an excuse. I used the F word with my coworker the other day (sorry mom) and he asked me to begin randomly coming into his office and swearing at him. I guess it didn't come across as rudely as I expected it do. Damn it. Oops sorry.

Tourettes.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Push Up Challenge - end of week 2

I had to do an "exhaustion test" the end of this week to reevaluate where I am in my abilities. After two weeks of following the program, I'm happy to report that I can now do 30 consecutive push ups. Yup - I'm ripped. hahaha

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Blowing My Top

Confession time: I literally lost it last night. The last week and a half has been emotional for me personally and work has suddenly turned it on. I feel like I'm sitting in front of a fire hose. So last night when I was trying to be nice and spend some time with Tessie since I think she gets left out on occasion and she decided to bite me on my eyebrow while also clawing me I sort of went out of control. I already have another sore on my left cheek from some unknown source, I'm not sleeping well because of Tessie being all over me in the night and it pushed me past my breaking point. I started screaming at her and (I'm sad to admit) spanking her and then I carried her upstairs and pushed her into her bed in a not gentle manner. About ten seconds later I found a spot where she had decided to pee on Moxie's blanket. Again. For the second time in five days. And I lost it again. I have NOT felt that angry in a really long time.

I actually kind of scared myself because I took it out on Tessie and even scolded Moxie for getting in the way while I was cleaning things up. I knew it wasn't the right way to respond but at that moment I thought I might have a stroke and I had to somehow release the tension. It was a horrible feeling. I also know it really wasn't the fact that Tessie had bit me or that Moxie was in my way. It was a culmination of factors that were making me want to crawl into a hole.

I haven't felt that angry since I learned to control my temper. When I was in elementary school I used to lose it like that. I remember the feeling where I would almost get light headed from anger. It was the same feeling last night and it has carried into today. It's sort of scary. Somehow I've learned overtime how to chill out and not let things get to me like they used to but I've clearly reached my breaking point this week.

There - now you all know I'm a bad person. Tessie wasn't harmed. She and Moxie were both a bit afraid of me for the rest of the night but all seemed to be normal this afternoon. Actually - Tessie took a swipe at my bracelet and thought twice of it. I keep thinking maybe she will eventually stop biting me and generally being a bad cat at times but I don't know.

I told her last night I was going to send her back to the pound but I can't really do that. So does anyone have good stress relieving tips for me? I don't see work letting up anytime soon and my personal life will be somewhat stressful too for some time. Running doesn't really help. Drinking heavily for the rest of my life is one option (just kidding - mostly). Any other thoughts?

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Sweet Dreams

Moxie was sick last night. I’ve been very fortunate with her because really other than the first couple of nights she hasn’t needed to go out at night to go to the bathroom. Last night she woke me up a couple times desperate to get out and she very clearly had an upset stomach. (no details necessary poor thing) So I was obviously concerned about her and it made me have a very funny dream that I had to share.

I had a dream that she was really good friends with Ted Kennedy and after he died she was supposed to play golf with Ethel Kennedy but I didn’t want her to because they were democrats. Of course the logical thing was for her to be really mad about it so we were having a fight about it on Facebook. Yes – I did say it was Moxie. A dog. On Facebook. Playing golf with a Kennedy.

Sometimes I even scare myself.