Monday, October 27, 2008

Have No Fear

My pastor is preaching a wonderful sermon series right now. It is super convicting and practical and true to life today, as his sermons often are. Yesterday he preached about hearing God and then submitting to what you hear. I found myself thinking last night about my prayer life and why sometimes I technically avoid it.

I’m currently considering a significant life change that is pretty much out of my control at this point. I was thinking about what it would mean to start praying diligently about it. I’ve been praying about it but sort of in a sheepish way. I realized the reason I have been hesitant to really pray, like sweating blood type of prayer, is because if I do, then I have to turn it over to God. If the door opens, I’ll know I have to walk through it because it is his plan for me. That kind of submission and letting go of “my” plans is awfully scary. It would mean potentially selling my house and moving who knows where. It means potentially losing the safety net of familiarity and not having all of my plans fulfilled, like getting a puppy in the Spring.

On my way home last night I was talking to Evan and I said something to him that I didn’t realize I had really thought until the words came out of my mouth. I told him that if God opens that door even though it might be sort of scary at first, I’ll know I will be ok because it will be God’s plan and he’ll be there with me. One of the things Pastor Dudley said last night was that often times the voice of God tells us things that seem so crazy that it couldn’t have possibly come from our own thoughts. Seeing as this potential change is such a thing for me (change is NOT my deal) I suppose it means I need to listen and realize it just might be God’s nudging. Anyway, I guess the point of all of this is that I need to stop worrying about what it will be like if it happens and instead be excited for the adventure I might find God sending me on.


heather said...

first, welcome back to the blogging world Kristin! I missed reading about your 'ramblings'! : )

second..I am speaking from experience when I say, 'Let go and let God'. He brought me up here almost 9 years ago and if I hadn't been willing to move up from San Jose California, I probably would never have met Paul....So I am encouraging you to go on this new journey God may be taking you on, because you never know what God has planned. You have such a huge support system of people that will pray alongside of you..don't be's God, he's got your best interests at heart! : )

Amanda: said...

yay! move to NYC!

Jessy said...

Do not move to NYC! But seriously Kristin, trust God and know His plans are best! Even if they look completely crazy to us. :)