Friday, August 29, 2008

Sweet Pete

We all have those few friends that make you happy just by being in your life. I was reminded last night just how important Pete is to me. I haven’t seen him for awhile for a myriad of reasons. We talk most days but sometimes we struggle with finding time to get together. When I walked into the restaurant where we were having dinner with some of his out of town friends last night I remembered why I care so much for him. He gave me a big smile and hug and instantly I was at ease. Our lives have taken us in funny places throughout the years of our friendship and the memories I have with him in them are some of my favorites.

I don’t tell you often enough my friend how much I care about you but I do. A lot. I’m very very glad you are in my life. (And PS – that’s why I get mad at you when you don’t call me when you need a ride to the hospital!) It was good to reconnect last night.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Sign of the times

I realized as I pulled into the gas station last night and started celebrating that I was going to get Premium gas for $3.85 (that's right PREMIUM) that times have definitely changed. I remember the last time I got gas for under a dollar. I was in Salem I think in my Senior year and it was at the Arco that smelled like the Mushroom Factory not more than a mile away. I'm not sure why that memory is so strong but it is. I didn't realize at the time is was momentous but now I realize it will be the kind of story I tell when I'm 80. Sort of like our parents walking to school uphill both ways in ten feet of snow. I think I'm getting old but I was still very happy yesterday for my $3.85 that's for sure.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Hem - sometimes someone else can say it better than you can.

The Fire Thief

Wouldn't be the first time love made a fool of me
Wouldn't even care but now you're here to see
It comes as no surprise
Just leave the light on

What I wouldn't give if you could have it all
The sun that's going down the bed that breaks the fall
The cradle and the bow
So you can take comfort now
You can take comfort now...

Sometimes a heart can break and make its own relief
The way a cold dark night invites the fire thief
He wants to show us how
So we can take comfort now
We can take comfort now
We can take comfort now

Leave the light on...

No Ties

I was chatting with my dad last night about some potential changes in my life (more to come in the future maybe) one of which might include a move, perhaps a significant one, (East coast? LA? Back to MN? Somewhere yet unknown?) if I can make some magic happen. One of the things I said to him was that I didn’t really have any ties keeping me in Seattle. Adrienne leaving has left a huge gap. Erin left two years ago now (man, time flies) and I know many of the people I’m close to figure they are here for another year (Theresa, Kirstin) maybe two tops and others realize this is a short term landing spot (Schneiders). I started to think that this would be a good time in my life to maybe chase an idea I have had for some time because other than my family being in Spokane nothing here feels very permanent.

My dad and I went to the Mariner’s game not long after this conversation. As we were watching the game my phone started to beep with text messages. First it was Pete – “you at the game? I’m here with my parents. See us? I’m waving at you across the stadium”. Then it was Aaron and Heidi – “you at the game? We’re here too and wanted to say hi.” Then it was Chris – “I just saw you and your dad on the Jumbotron! Nice work!!” Then Drew walked by and some people we knew from living in Snohomish sat two rows in front of us.

After about an hour of this my dad looked at me and said to me – “Really? No ties holding you in Seattle? I never want to hear you say that again.” Thanks for making me feel at home and connected guys. I love you all. (PS – it doesn’t mean I’m not moving but it makes it much less lonely for the time being)

Monday, August 18, 2008


Everyone needs a wingman, someone who can be there no matter what, who is your backup, who watches your six o’clock (to quote dad), who doesn’t let you out of their sight in necessary situations but then also pushes you forward when you need the shove. My wingman so to speak for the past few years has been Adrienne. She moved to Colorado a week ago after getting a sudden job offer. She was so excited and I am happy for her to have the adventure but man, I’m missing her. I realized again this weekend that life is different for me in about 1,000 small ways without her around. (and that’s not even counting the fact I just miss the heck out of her)

This past weekend a group of us went up to Mt. Rainier to camp and hike etc. I missed Adrienne immediately because I was one of few single women in the group. It meant I got my tent to myself for the first night which is nice in a way but lonely in a way too. Frankly, that wasn’t an issue but I definitely thought of Adrienne and wished she was there to chuckle with while falling asleep. When I really noticed her absence was hiking on Saturday. As we started up the hill a few of the guys in the group told people to make sure they had a buddy. I was walking with Kim and Julie at the time. Julie is newly married and Kim has been married for five years now and Julie mentioned that she doesn’t have to worry about a buddy because she has her permanent buddy in Jeff. Her comment really stung. This entry is not to say anything bad about Julie because I ADORE her and I know she absolutely meant nothing by what she said – it was simply a true statement – Jeff would watch out for her. It’s part of the team that is created when you get married and it is one of the wonderful reasons why I think God created the bond between a man and a woman. (Side note: I heard on the radio this morning that there have been studies done that show that when a woman is stressed by simply holding her husband’s hand the brain activity that stress causes is reduced in half. IN HALF. By simply holding hands. Sheesh.) Anyway, a while later on the hike I got sick probably for a number of reasons and had to turn back. I went down the mountain and on a different hike along Paradise River in the shade instead of on the mountain with no shade and it was fine but I realized as I was walking along that if Adrienne had been there she would have gone down the mountain with me. It wouldn’t have been an option to let me go on my own. That’s what us single thirty something women do for each other. We are each other’s wingmen at all times. Thank goodness God created girlfriends in addition to marriage. ha

Everything turned out fine. My hike along the river was wonderful, cooler, beautiful, very few people, etc etc, but it would have been far more fun with Adrienne by my side.

I miss you my friend. I can’t wait to come visit you in Colorado!!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

New Guy (NG)

There are so many reasons the addition of NG to our office in mid-January improved my work life but yesterday and today he has given two very clear examples.

1) Starbucks runs. At least two or three times a week he pulls me out the door for a Starbucks run. On the way there and back we talk, sometimes about work junk and other times it's nothing but mindless banter.

2) 3:00 Whiskey. Not that I’m sipping it, whiskey isn’t really my thing unless it’s the expensive stuff, but just the fact that he IS makes me feel better.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Truths from a seven year old

In response to my sister telling my niece that God had a bigger plan for someone else when they had to cancel their trip to Disneyland Kelly said - I don't know why God would be so mean to me and not let me go to Disneyland.

I hear you kiddo.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Soundtrack of my Life (today)

Evan and I were talking yesterday (sorry Evan, it's all fair game for the blog) about a memory he has about spending time with me and the memory had a song attached to it. I told him I should probably have a soundtrack for my life. Actually, there would be many of them. I have created CDs with some of them. Here is the one for now (probably the last five months give or take).

1. Low – Flo Rida
2. Jesus Lead On – Forgivenmuch (this one is pretty much permanent and has been for a couple years)
3. My Hands Are Shaking - Sondre Lerche
4. Gravity – Sara Bareilles
5. Desire - Ryan Adams
6. Night Train – Amos Lee
7. Satelite - Guster
8. The Little Things – Colbie Cailat
9. One Sweet Love – Sara Bareilles
10. Put a Girl in It – Books and Dunn
11. Where You Are – Rascal Flatts
12. Magic – Colbie Cailat
13. Let My Love Open the Door – Sondre Lerche
14. Freckles – Natasha Bedingfeld
15. Many the Miles – Sara Bareilles
16. The Way I am – Ingrid Michealson
17. I’ll Be OK – Sondre Lerche
18. Soulmate – Natasha Bedingfeld
19. New Soul - Yael Naim

On Being Human

As a blogger I love it when I realize other people are reading my blog. Matty’s dad asked me on Saturday why I write a blog. What’s the point he wanted to know, and I really struggled with an answer. What I finally landed on was this: it’s a way for me to share what is rolling around in my head with other people and my hope is that they care about what I have to share. So with that idea, I also repay the favor and read other people’s blogs. I always love when they can make me introspective. This posting by Heather really made me think the other day and it came back to me yesterday and this morning as I was going about my day. The Bible verses she laid out there were what really caught me and I have been praying about them ever since. For ease of reference I have reposted them here – with Heathers small additions:

Paul is writing to the Romans...Romans 7:14 - 25: So the trouble is not with the law, for it (the law) is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can't. I want to do what is good but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don't want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. I have discovered this principle in life-that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God's law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: in my mind I really want to obey God's law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.” (The exciting news in this is: Romans 8:1-2: "So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.")
Yesterday and this morning I let a little bit of worry creep into my life. It is probably one of my greatest “sins”. I tend to worry about people I care about, worry about finances, worry about the future, worry about things I can’t control. I think it comes a little from being a bit type A. What I was convicted of this morning is that the worry that I was experiencing was not based on anything that would be from God but rather was because I was getting pulled at by Old Red Legs (to quote Susan B). The reality is if I considered what I often repeat to myself 100 or 1,000 or more times a day (let go, let God) then I would worry about nothing. I would realize instead that God has things in control. There should be no fear in what is happening because God wants the best for us and wants us to be happy SO even if the worst – whatever that might be in my mind at any particular time – were to happen, the temporary pain is nothing compared to the joy that God is intending. It’s pretty awesome actually. I wish Paul was wrong in what he is saying to the Romans that we are pulled by our human nature to sin and rebel against God’s laws but I agree (I know – shocker – for those of you who have studied the Bible with me you know how much I struggle with Paul. We would NOT have gotten along.), if only I could allow what is in my heart to lead over what sometimes goes on in my head God’s joy would fill my life and I would no longer have any worries.

My favorite verse in the Bible is Matthew 6:34 but the whole section is worth repeating here. If only it were so easy:

Matthew 6: 25-34: 25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.