Thursday, June 26, 2008

I’m a girl!!! What do you expect!?

Confession time – don’t judge me too harshly or stop reading my blog because of what I am about to reveal. Please remain my loyal readers, friends and confidants. Here goes: I am a huge fan of the bachelor/bachelorette. I know. Shutter. Reality TV at its worst. But I have to admit, I rarely if ever miss an episode. OK so that is mostly true now because of DVR and couldn’t have been said before the “hotter than crap Brad” season (to quote www.ihategreenbeans.com) but even when I didn’t have DVR I didn’t miss many episodes of the seasons I committed myself to. There have been a number of seasons that I haven’t watched but I’ve watched more than I care to admit. I personally was pretty smitten by Graham this season and was very disappointed today when I discovered he was the one not chosen last Monday. (Swoon) I love the idea of romance without limits and falling in love in a short amount of time. As you all know, I give my heart way too fast, so I can understand the phenomenon of falling in love within the short few months/weeks they actually know each other on the show. I know, I know, the success rate isn’t high but a girl can dream.

I got to thinking today about the romance part of the show and what it would be like to actually have that in my life. It has been a while since I have been on a romantic date. In fact, Carney and I never had anything close to romance – probably the closest we came was our fishing trip which was fun and funny and enjoyable but really not “romantic” in the way that I think of it – or that the ABC intern thinks of it either. Mr. Airplane was a big time romantic so I guess romance in my life goes back to him. Shoot, that was over two years ago now, other than our short time together last winter which was frankly full more of angst than romance.

I was reflecting today on what romance could look like when money is a factor, you have life getting in the way and don’t have anyone getting paid to do the planning. The dates the Bachelor and Bachelorette get to go on are out of this world and would be amazing to experience but I’m pretty sure I have no expectation of a helicopter ride or a private concert by Natasha Bedingfield anytime soon. Not that I would turn any of that down mind you – just in case my Mr. Forever stumbles upon my blog. (Please note the change from Mr. Right to Mr. Forever. I’ve decided that is actually what I am looking for. It’s sort of like saying I am looking for Mr. Just Right For Me – but with less words. haha)

As I watched one of the episodes today it struck me that one of the most romantic parts of this particular date was the fact that both the current bachelorette (DeAnna) and the man she was with at the time (Jeremy) took the time to sit and talk to each other. They held hands and shared parts of their lives that were difficult to share. Compared to the staged or planned romance I found this part of the episode to actually be filled with tenderness and romantic moments. There was no helicopter, no exotic waterfalls, no quartet and certainly no out of this world financial obligation. Yet despite that I was greatly moved.

Maybe this goes back to my love languages. I don’t care who you are, where you are in your relationship life – married, single, looking to be married, looking to remain single – you should ALL read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I learned a lot about myself and how I react to people whether it be in a romantic relationship, a friendship or even with my family. The “five languages” are gifts, physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time and acts of service. Chapman basically asserts that one feels loved by certain “acts” and the language or languages you “speak” effect whether or not you are feeling loved. I have two primary languages – quality time and physical touch. I guess in that you can see why I saw the romance in Jeremy and DeAnna sitting on the couch, holding hands and sharing about their lives.

I was introduced recently to a guy who owns a boat. I was thinking today about how being on a boat is a romantic activity – maybe not at 6:00 am pulling a skier which is what he “threatened” me with but being on a boat tends to be automatically romantic for some reason. I guess that requires money but still something about just being on or around the water does that. Again, I think part of the reason is you slow down and take the time to be together. Maybe that’s actually what romance is all about.

I would LOVE to hear some of your most romantic moments. Maybe my Mr. Forever is reading this and he can get some pointers! And hey! Happy 4th of July! Remember the romance of fireworks and hold the one you love’s hand as you sit still together and oooooh and ahhhhh.

8 comments:

LPAT said...

Romantic moment....on Peter and I's second date we ended up at a small neighborhood pub after dinner and a drive (it was a quiet pub, the kind of place where people go to talk, and they wouldn't dare serve Budweiser!) On our table was an old atlas, and we began looking at different maps and talking about places we'd been, places we'd lived, and places we wanted to go to. It helped us learn so much about each other, and I think that night was when we really fell for each other and realized we had a connection. It wasn't any kind of expensive or elaborate date, but it was just right for us. And we are very happily married and still enjoy looking at maps together :-)

Wendy said...

The most romantic date (at least I think it counted) was a weekend camping trip where we barely talked at all. We just stopped to point out something pretty or listen to the silence and in the evening we cooked a simple dinner, made a forbidden fire, and just cuddled and watched it burn. We talked about God and faith for a long time, but it was a long, drawn out (in a good way) conversation. We passed out late and woke up early to get on the trail. I was achy but my mind was clear and it was romantic to just BE together out there. Just add a dog and that right there will earn you a special part of my heart ;)

Wendy said...

This was a fun post- thanks for the memory :) It's getting light out, I suppose I should go to bed...

Amanda: said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amanda: said...

a) i love ihategreenbeans.com. i'm a faithful reader. :)
b) most romantic moment... i dated this guy briefly my freshman year in college, and we were driving somewhere - home i suppose - and a song came on the radio, he pulled off the side of the road, and asked me to dance. it was silly, but very sweet.

Amanda: said...

that, and watching the balloon fiesta late in the evening in albuquerque....

Heather said...

I agree with you about Graham...nice on the eyes but lacking in the love department! (and I love ihategreenbeans.com!!!)

My most romantic moment had to be when Paul proposed on July 1st, 2001 up at beautiful Manito Park with the help of your sister and brother in law...he led me to believe that they (Steve & Jessy) were going to join us for a picnic in the park...but while we were "waiting" for them to arrive, he took me to the conservatory to show me all the beautiful flowers ...and there was a dozen sunflowers in a vase on the floor level...in the perfect spot for me to look down at them so he could get on one knee and ask me to marry him! Then he told me that S & J weren't actually coming (thats the only way he could get me there!) and that he had a picnic lunch set up on the grass over by the pond. He then serenaded me with his guitar singing "when you say nothing at all" by Alison Kraus.
That will always be special to me....

Anonymous said...

shudder, right?