Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Firing Squad

I’ve never had to fire someone. It’s a fact that I am happy about. In fact, until today I have never even had to fire a service provider. I don’t think I’ve ever had to “fire” a doctor or a dentist. They’ve either retired or I’ve moved and therefore had no choice but to move on to someone else. Well, today I had to give someone the axe. Thankfully, no one I work with, or who works for me rather. Helga still has her job. I didn’t ask Patty to remove herself from the premises but I did have to fire a person who had been doing some work for a client of mine and therefore me. Shoot, as I am writing this I am realizing they weren’t even really MY employee. I don’t know why I am feeling so bad about it. Maybe it is because in a sense I rejected her and I know the feeling of rejection too well and it is an open wound for me right now. Whatever the reason I’m feeling pretty lousy about it. She even asked me to explain the reason. That sucked. What can you tell her? Basically, I liked the other guy better and wanted to work with him instead. He has a better business model. I felt more comfortable in his presence. He cut me a deal. There is no conflict of interest. He talked to me at the right moment. He looked my client square in the eye and told her he would do his best for her. The list goes on. I guess that’s business. I’m aware of that. It’s only business. But I could still hear the disappointment in her voice and the frustration with me butting my nose in. It made me feel bad. I guess maybe I am not management material because I am too much of a softy. Or maybe while it would weigh on me that is what would make me good management material. I guess for now I don’t have to worry too much about that issue but I do have to look this lady in the eye and take all of my materials from her on Thursday. Shoot. What have I gotten myself into.

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