Monday, October 22, 2007

Respect

The way our office space is configured is slightly ridiculous. I can hear everything the two attorneys next to me say if their doors are open. At times I can hear TKO across the office from me. Part of it is my good hearing, part of it is rude loud talking and part of it is just acoustics. It is about 5:30 pm right now and this is generally my quiet time in the office. I am usually the last person here at night and I love that. I don’t bother to come in early because I wouldn’t get any work done at that time of day – I would sit in front of my computer and sleep – and besides MP and SLF are here and I have more desire to have my fingernails pulled out one by one than I do to be trapped in the office with just SLF and MP. Tonight they both just made their exit – cutting about a half hour into my quiet and productive time. SLF made a rude comment to me as he left thinking it was funny but it was mostly just plain rude and basically ruined any chance I had of having a productive final hour because I am stewing.

Anyway, a few minutes ago I heard SLF talking to his wife on the phone. His wife is wonderful. I have met her a number of times and I really like her. She is hang loose in an uptight way and has a great laugh. She is an odd combination but makes a person feel very comfortable and welcome. More times than not when SLF talks to her it is with little or no respect. Today he was clearly annoyed that she had called and asked him to do something, either come home for an activity with their kids or maybe pick something up on the way home. I couldn’t hear her side of the conversation and couldn’t figure out exactly what was going on but the tone he used with her was unbelievably rude and belittling. I know that tone well because he tends to use it with me quite often. It is one thing to talk to your underling that way and a complete other to talk to your spouse like that. He informed her he wouldn’t be home for a while because he had a couple of phone calls to make and then he went out for drinks with MP. I’m telling you, my dad would have NEVER done that. My dad also is never disrespectful to my mom the way SLF is to his wife. If I am blessed with the opportunity to be married someday my prayer is it is a relationship full of respect for one another; respect and the desire to hurry home to spend time together. I think we all deserve that.

2 comments:

lpat said...

What a jerk!
It's good that you recognize that, so I think you would be extra conscientious about NOT getting involved with a guy like this.
I once dated a guy like that, and I didn't even realize how bad it was until I was out of the relationship. If my husband now pulled that I would not put up with it!

tsquatri said...

I agree... what a jerk. I hope that I am never a woman that puts up with that kind of disrespect. I had a dad that did that to my mom. It has taken me a long time to not dislike my father because of the way he treated my mom. And it took me a long time to see the good in him despite all that. At the same time, I struggled to see my mom as a strong woman. In all, it pretty much screwed me up and has really affected the way I look at relationships and males. I tell you this not to condone such actions, but (1) to say how wonderful your dad is and how fortunate you were to have him as a father, and (2) to say its so important to see a healthy relationship as a child. I feel for his children.