Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Lessons Learned

OK OK OK – I know multiple people warned me about Carney and his age and his profession and the differences between us and in fact a guy I barely know told me to tread carefully and you were ALL RIGHT. Don’t think I didn’t hear you. My head heard you but my heart was a different matter. So after five+ months of trying to make the relationship work it ended last night. It’s funny because there is a HUGE part of me that is dealing with copious amounts of relief today. I slept like a baby (although I had dreams that he was very present in), I’ve barely cried (two tears total) and the list of things I didn’t like about the relationship has played time and again as I have dealt with giving myself necessary closure.

So, the question becomes what should I learn from the experience? It is a bit early in the process of the process to really know for sure but there are a few things I have taken away already. Here’s the list:

Any man that is in my life
1. Will call when he says he will
2. Will drive more than 50% of the time
3. Will be on time 90% of the time, especially for occasions where being on time is important
4. Will not be afraid of the types of physical and emotional connections that occur in a dating/romantic relationship (and if he is afraid he will find a way to push through the fear)
5. Will want to know my friends and be friends with my friends
6. Will have a calendar or will have some way of keeping track of commitments
7. Will want to spend time with me and will find ways to make that happen
8. Will love kids and my niece and nephew will adore him
9. Will be able to support himself financially and will be fiscally responsible (i.e. pay his cell bill on time so as not to get it cut off on occasion)
10. Will be driven professionally and personally
11. Will attend church with me on a regular basis
12. Will have hobbies that he wants to share and/or will have hobbies that we both have in common
13. Will challenge me to be a better person
14. Will support me and bring me peace in times of difficulty
15. Will be intelligent
16. Will expect me to be my best and will hold me accountable in times of failure in that
17. Will ignore the three-day rule (see earlier entries)
18. Will be a gentleman
19. Will be funny
20. Will not work for Amway

That is the list so far. Carney had many of these attributes but was also sorely lacking in some of them. I am sure others for the list will crop up here and there but for now, that is it. Well, I’m off to go drown my "sorrows" in the pool. I think endorphins will do me some good.

2 comments:

KermitFan said...

Bad relationships stink! I'm glad, however, that you made the list of good attributes... I made a list like that once, and soon after I met the man who meets the criteria on the list... and look at me now! :-) Good things come to those who wait. (Good things also come to those who live life to the fullest, so don't be afraid to live it up too!)

Amanda said...

Hope you're doing OK! Even the bad relationships are sucky when they end...