Friday, January 05, 2007

Year End

If I had to pick a least favorite holiday I would without a doubt pick New Years Eve. I don’t know why. It might have something to do with the fact that it was always sort of a non-event in my household growing up or maybe the fact that I stay up until midnight on a fairly regular basis anyway so it seems like any other day. I don’t really know. I do know that it is a great excuse to get together with friends and I am looking forward to a party at my friend Katie’s house this year – it is a dress up cocktail party and I know it will be a lot of fun but there is still part of me that is a big scrooge when it comes to the holiday. Maybe it is the lack of someone to kiss at midnight or just the finality of the year or maybe it is that I always become too introspective this time of year and I begin to examine finances, start making plans for becoming a better person next year and realizing where the failures fell last year, but also seeing the successes. To be honest I don’t know where 2007 came from but it’s here, no stopping it now.

So 2006, it’s all but behind me. I started thinking through 2006 last week. There are many highlights – from visits from people in MN to visiting MN, to the trip to NYC and singing at Carnegie, to a trip to AZ for Spring Training, opening day of baseball, trip to LA and learning to surf, many failed dating relationships (haha) but also some good new strong friendships, a new house and the list could go on.

So the question to be answered becomes what do I expect of myself in 2007? That is a question I have been asking myself for the last week and the frustrating thing for me is I have no idea and I have no courage to come up with an answer. Isn’t that lame? I am afraid to set goals or do any type of vision casting because I am afraid of failure, afraid of coming up short. I do, however, feel strongly that I need to have one goal; one important thing to strive for.

I turn 30 in 2007. I have no idea where THAT came from but just like 2007 it is here. I am sure that all of the goals we set back in elementary school related to being 30. It is a milestone. Hmm – what does that mean exactly? Am I where I need to be? If not what do I need to do to get there. Time is different for people in my generation and the amount of single 30 somethings have grown but still I feel as though there is a portion of the population that looks at us and wonders why we are single. To be honest I don’t mind my singleness. Sure I would love to be married and have someone to help carry the burdens of life and to share the joys with and to love and to love me in return but in actuality – I live a really good life. I love and get love from my friends and family. I have plenty of people to turn to when in need. So while that was probably something I saw as not only a possibility but a probability when I was in grade school, my life is full to overflowing without it.

Obviously, marriage isn’t something you can plan for or set as a goal so that isn’t the goal for 2007 at all. So let’s see. What is an attainable goal for 2007? Here it is: my goal for 2007 is to be less tired. That means less committed, less busy, more relaxed. That’s it. That’s the goal. I want to be running through the streets skipping with energy again by this time next year. That’s something I am not afraid of failing at. It’s a bit chicken but at least it is a place to start.

Oh and I want to be funnier.