Tuesday, September 19, 2006

32 Going on Moron

*****DISCLAIMER******
MSN – if you are reading this there is going to be a big part of you that will probably want to be mad at me and if you are I apologize, but you know I am a straight shooter and I have told you I am disappointed in you and if I didn’t care about you this wouldn’t evoke such a strong reaction. I still love you and hopefully you will still love me after you get through this.
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Ok so maybe the heading of this blog entry is a bit harsh but prepare yourself because I am very frustrated about some choices one of my favorite people in the world has decided to make lately. If he reads this entry he might end up being mad at me but it is nothing I haven’t told him to his face (or ear since we were on the phone). My friend, we’ll call him “John” to protect the not so innocent, called me last night and told me his girlfriend is pregnant. In a world already full of “fatherless” children and broken families I cannot even begin to understand this. Maybe it is that I see it all too often in my profession when I am assisting in divorces but seriously, “John” is a divorced father of two, he should understand better than anyone. He is a devoted father too. He loves his boys and does everything he can to be with them when he can and his boys idolize him. You can tell when they are together – they can’t get enough attention from him.

So, how is it that “John” isn’t learning the lesson that should have been taught during the last two years of being divorced? Well, I have thought about this the past twelve hours and I suppose part of it is the old stupid male excuse of the physical temptations being too strong, blah blah blah – not buying it. We all feel tempted and want to cross that line but the reality is we either don’t or we are SMART ABOUT IT. There is this wonderful invention that isn’t new to this world called birth control. For those of you reading this I would suggest doing some research into the issue if you haven’t heard of it because evidently “John” and his girlfriend hadn’t heard about it or didn’t care enough about the child they could potentially bring into this world to invest in it. Why wasn’t she on birth control? She is 42 years old – old enough to know how to take a little pill. I am pretty sure she probably goes to the doctor on occasion and I know she has good medical coverage. Dude, take the pill, save yourself and the child you could potentially bring into the world from so much heartache. “John” is 32 and I know the act of putting on a condom is not foreign to him so what in the world was going through his brain!? Ugh.

But then there is the part of me that feels sad, well not sad but some type of sadish emotion that I don’t have a word for, for both “John” and his girlfriend. I know this isn’t going to be easy for either of them. “John’s” girlfriend has two kids already as well. “John” isn’t going to marry her simply because she is carrying his child but she has moved in with him. If the relationship will last is a question only they can answer and I hope it does but with such a difficult beginning I would think statistically (and since I am a baseball fan I know statistics can be wrong) the odds are against them. So they both have this horrendous load to carry. One that I am glad I never will. But I suppose that’s where my sympathy/sadness ends because then the face of a beautiful little child pops into my head and I realize it is their bad choices which will lead to this child having a broken family in the first place. I am sorry but in my book you don’t mess with kids.

So the questions are these, and I have my own opinion but I would like to know what anyone reading this thinks: What is the best thing for them to do from here? Should “John” marry his girlfriend? Should they keep the baby or put it up for adoption? Should “John” get a vasectomy? (This was my advice last night, haha, but it doesn’t solve the problem of the new little one on the way.) I am curious what you all think. I might pass the information onto “John”.

One other question too - as a friend I want to be supportive of "John" but I don't want to encourage this type of behavior in the future. So, is doing things such as buying baby gifts hypocritical? How do I, as a friend who has obvious opinions but is loyal beyond anything else respond in support of "John" but not in support of the situation?

This world we live in can be so screwy and situations like these make me realize that my small influence on the world isn’t enough. Where are B. Hedges and Scottie? I need to start my campaign to run the world.

1 comment:

KermitFan said...

What is the best thing for them to do from here?
Either give the child up for adoption or raise it together as loving parents.

Should “John” marry his girlfriend?
Absolutely not. What's worse? Growing up in a household with parents that don't like each other and feel that they have to stay together for you (the child), or growing up with a mom and dad who can get along, but who live in two different households? Marriage out of necessity vs. love is never a good idea.

Should “John” get a vasectomy?
Uhhh, yeah. He should do it right around the time that his girlfriend is going through the hellishly uncomfortable months of labor so that he can feel some of the pain of childbearing. (Wait, was that a little too mean spirited?)

KT -- I'd vote for you to rule the world. Can I help run your campaign when you run for President? :-)